A Sweet Picture to Imagine

Jack is doing great with toilet training. He is very motivated thanks to Stacy's reward system: he gets to choose a stamp and mark boxes on a chart on the refrigerator; he gets a lollipop or a tiny piece of chocolate; he gets a Playmobil crane for success over a certain period of time. For two weeks while I've been there, he's been 100% dry without a diaper. He tells me when it's time to go to the bathroom.

Here's the sweet scene that occurs every day: Jack is sitting on the toilet holding a little plastic figure of Pinocchio's creator/father (Geppetto). He asks if he can hold my hand. We just stay that way for a long time as he tries to poop. On Thursday afternoon as we held those positions, Jack announced rather enthusiastically that he was going to be pooping until night. I said that in that case, I'd better sit down. "Yes," said Jack, "sit down." When Jack is through, he lets me help with the paper work and then he grabs his little seat off the toilet, washes his hands, and heads for the kitchen to choose the stamp and get his chocolate.

The photo shows Jack reading to his friends Emma and Jenny at Marian's beauty salon. We were there to get my hair cut. Emma and Jenny came by so Emma could get used to the hair cut experience. Marian is wonderful. She books us for over an hour, cuts my hair, trims Jack's, and then lets Jack sweep up the hair. We are the only ones in the shop. And she charges only $18.00. She has a customer for life!

New Techniques Is Promising

Last week, the New York Times had an article about the "baby whisperer," Dr. Harvey Karp, who wrote "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Remember how to hold and swing a crying baby while shhhhing in his ear?

Dr. Karp says when a toddler gets into a tantrum, you need to adopt a soothing, childlike voice and imitate the child's facial expressions. Repeat the child's words over and over. For example, suppose the child wants a cookie and is wailing "I want it, I want it, I want cookie now." The adult should repeat, "You want, you want. You want cookie. You say, 'Cookie now, cookie now.'"

On Wednesday, Jack asked me to get the books he had taken to Daddy's house. He said they were in the suitcase. I looked for the suitcase and couldn't find it. So we looked in all the rooms of the house. No suitcase. We called Daddy, "I'm sorry, Jack, the suitcase is in my trunk."

Jack started saying he wanted the books now. Daddy should bring them home now. We hung up the phone and I tried the technique. By this time Jack was half crying and demanding the books. I was sitting on the floor with him and said, "You want those books, you want those books now. You want those books. You want that book about the little boy and his machines." Jack calmed down and we started talking about the little boy. We agreed that Jack has most of the same machines. "He doesn't have a tanker ship," said Jack. "That's right, no tanker ship. But he does have a street sweeper." "I want a street sweeper." "Should we go look on the computer and see if we can find a toy street sweeper"? "Yes."

So now perfectly calm, Jack and I spent about half an hour looking at the various toy street sweepers and agreed that none of them is really what we want. Jack, however, decided that the Lego street sweeper is close enough. By now he was calm enough that I could discuss with him the fact that he just had a birthday and had a lot of new toys. So the technique worked, but I may have made a tactical error in suggesting the lack of a street sweeper.

When Daddy came home about three hours later, Jack happily pulled the books out of the suitcase. They were not forgotten!

Literary Jack the Birthday Boy

Today, Jack is 3 and we're all wondering how the time flew by so fast. What a great kid. He says he wants to stay a little boy and I have to say I will mourn the loss of this little 3-year-old when he grows up.

In the last few weeks, Jack has surprised us with his expressions. For example, one day, he was crying because his mother had gone to work when he was still recovering from a bump on the head. I tried reading to him. When we came to a page with a little mirror, I read the text: "what do you see in the mirror"? "Tears," said Jack.

We all heard: "Change my diaper, came a muffled cry." He had to be quoting something, but what? I asked him where he got that phrase. After I explained what a phrase is, Jack said: "the blue car." I was still puzzled until I read him "Benny the Breakdown Truck." When the blue car parks in the construction zone, a dump truck empties its load of asphault over it. "Get me out--came a muffled cry."

Sure seems unusual to me for a 3-year-old to be offering up literary allusions. Without a doubt his language skills are remarkable. Maybe he won't be a workingman.

When Alex and I arrived for the birthday party today, Jack became really excited when he opened his present and it was the tanker ship he wanted. We think he wanted a tanker ship because of our discussions about the ship that hit the Bay Bridge and polluted the bay. Jack asks about that ship occasionally, especially when we get to the page of boats and ships in Best Word Book Ever. In any case, he was overjoyed with the Playmobil ship. It requires assembly and we finally had to put it away so Jack could interact with his party guests.

I forgot my camera today, but I hope other people got some photos. The kids were really great. All but one of the Billygoats, Emma, and several other good friends, plus all the parents. It was a houseful, but remarkably orderly. Jack did not mind the other kids playing with his toys, except for the new ones. Maria was there and Deborah Jean and Jenny and Bart and Jack's San Francisco families.

Happy birthday, Jack/Nurkey!