New Techniques Is Promising

Last week, the New York Times had an article about the "baby whisperer," Dr. Harvey Karp, who wrote "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Remember how to hold and swing a crying baby while shhhhing in his ear?

Dr. Karp says when a toddler gets into a tantrum, you need to adopt a soothing, childlike voice and imitate the child's facial expressions. Repeat the child's words over and over. For example, suppose the child wants a cookie and is wailing "I want it, I want it, I want cookie now." The adult should repeat, "You want, you want. You want cookie. You say, 'Cookie now, cookie now.'"

On Wednesday, Jack asked me to get the books he had taken to Daddy's house. He said they were in the suitcase. I looked for the suitcase and couldn't find it. So we looked in all the rooms of the house. No suitcase. We called Daddy, "I'm sorry, Jack, the suitcase is in my trunk."

Jack started saying he wanted the books now. Daddy should bring them home now. We hung up the phone and I tried the technique. By this time Jack was half crying and demanding the books. I was sitting on the floor with him and said, "You want those books, you want those books now. You want those books. You want that book about the little boy and his machines." Jack calmed down and we started talking about the little boy. We agreed that Jack has most of the same machines. "He doesn't have a tanker ship," said Jack. "That's right, no tanker ship. But he does have a street sweeper." "I want a street sweeper." "Should we go look on the computer and see if we can find a toy street sweeper"? "Yes."

So now perfectly calm, Jack and I spent about half an hour looking at the various toy street sweepers and agreed that none of them is really what we want. Jack, however, decided that the Lego street sweeper is close enough. By now he was calm enough that I could discuss with him the fact that he just had a birthday and had a lot of new toys. So the technique worked, but I may have made a tactical error in suggesting the lack of a street sweeper.

When Daddy came home about three hours later, Jack happily pulled the books out of the suitcase. They were not forgotten!